New Year, Preface

2026 Vision Board

New year, same coffee shop, beautiful new journal I am ecstatic to write in! Thinking more about starting a blog and putting my ego in the line of fire, though I suspect the worst blow will be how little attention I get from any of this nonsense. Still, I'd like to work concurrently on being more accountable to myself and others. I know any effort to be a better person and achieve my goals must come from within—

I'd like to make a London Fog as a cocktail. I'm drinking a delicious and warm one right now—

But friends are there to help keep you on track, give encouragement, advice, and feedback (occasional constructive criticism is welcome). Blogging may also help build self-confidence: confidence in my true self, who has flaws on her back that take another set of eyes to notice and a frustrating amount of effort to reach and scrub away. If that girl spends more time under the sun, under the gaze of undoubtedly a vast sea of eyes (that's sarcasm, I fear it won't read well), she may gain some amount of bravery and the kind of self-respect Joan Didion writes about.

Now then, what will we write about?

I’m not illusioned enough to believe I’m a great writer, but I have a lot of opinions and unsolicited advice to share here. There will be complaints, reflections, recommendations, reviews, realizations, recipes—oh no, I’ve been accidentally alliterating—and tangents like that which make my posts impossible to read, like some sentence crafted by Italo Calvino but stripped of its poignancy. I’ll be sure to leave in only the most important details. Mostly, I’ll be writing about what I’m up to, what I’m not, and what I’d like to be, re: being accountable to myself and my goals.

What am I up to now?

It’s the start of a new year, and all my favorite people have just left town. I spent a week in mental bliss, pondering my future, being present with friends and family, and debating whether or not I should delete Instagram. I’ve enjoyed many worldly pleasures such as:

• cool gel nails (by @notsospecial nails)

• wagyu brisket (Kafi BBQ, TX)

• bug museum

• Marty Supreme (8/10, great but will not rewatch)

• Josh O’Connor fangirling arc

Now I’m at a crossroads. Going back to work was less stressful than I expected, but I’m still concerned about the next few weeks. According to my journal, I felt “fucking unstoppable” on Sunday, “like I can do anything I want if I put enough effort in. Maybe—I was going to say maybe it’s like a kind of manic episode, but that would take away from the true joy I have felt this past week.” There’s so much to look forward to; every day I weather through bitterness and discomfort makes the pleasant moments so much sweeter.

Bye!

visions…